Back Together --JAX AND TARA--
by skriley316
Summary: What happens when the 14 months in prison turned into 3 years for Jax? An attempted murder from Gemma to Tara, Tara fleeing with her boys?Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**TARA POV**

Jax had been in prison for the church assault charges for 1086 days. 2 years, and 356 days. He would have gotten out on parole like the rest of the club, but him getting stabbed by the Russians for the betrayal with Putlova had made the warden think Jax was still up to trouble while incarcerated so when the initial 14 months had passed, he was denied parole while everyone else was out. What did this mean? My sons would be fatherless until Abel was in kindergarten and Thomas was two and a half. Jax and I eloped during a visitation 2 years into his incarceration, so I was also without my husband. Jax hated the club now. They never did anything to help him inside, so now he was left all alone, rotting away in prison. I tried my best to keep Jax close with the boys. Every Sunday we'd make the three hour drive from Redding to Stockton for visitations with Jax. As soon as he could call me about being denied parole, he said I needed to get out of Charming with the boys. He claimed to be done with the club, and didn't want our sons ever growing up around it- he didn't want their life ruined by the club like his had been. That put me and Gemma at war like never before. I didn't have a problem with it. Those were my sons, what their father and I thought was best for them was going to be what would happen. Wendy had given up her custody and disowned Abel, and Jax had the documents arranged by his lawyer for me to adopt him as my own. Gemma hated that. She was too overbearing with the boys. I had Opie and Lyla watching Abel and Thomas while I had finished packing up the house in Charming. Gemma came over stoned, drunk, and senile. She tried to attack me with the iron. She cracked a rib, and had me up against the counter. She grabbed for the carving fork and went to stab me in the chest, but I was able to turn it around and get it into her stomach. Not deep, but enough for it to hurt like a bitch so I could call 911. I wasn't in trouble since it was self defense. They arrested her for attempted murder and aggravated assault. Her sentence was 15 years without parole. I was so scared to tell Jax what had happened, but after being betrayed by his club and his mom betraying him by trying to kill me, he was sure that he wanted nothing to do with them, and he was glad I stabbed her. After my rib had healed and everything with Abel's adoption was cleared, my boys and I moved to Redding. I got a job as head neonatal and pediatric surgeon at Redding Hospital. Things got hard when Abel was starting Kindergarten. On the first day, he told a little boy in his class that his daddy was away in a castle fighting off bad guys. Abel was very grown for his age. He knew Jax was in prison, and that it was his crazy grandparents' fault. Thomas was starting preschool at the same elementary school Abel attended. I hired a nice nanny named Olivia. She was 24 and worked in the nursery at the hospital during the night shifts, so our schedules worked nicely. I'd drop the boys off at school around 7:30 most mornings, Olivia would get Thomas at 12:30, then the bus would drop Abel off at 2:30, I would get home by 5:30-6 most evenings, in time to relieve Olivia for her to go to work, and for me to cook dinner. Saturdays were my half days and Sundays I would take off. The pain of Jax not being around would get worse and worse with every milestone, and eventually got to be every day it hurting a little more. Our sons were good boys. Abel had more of my cautious, calm, and caring personality. He loved to help me take care of Thomas and was exceeding at everything in school. I even signed him up for baseball which he loved, and was pretty skilled in- something he got from Jax. Thomas on the other hand was a handful and a half. A little shit, just like Jax was when we were teens. He was witty, and sharp. He was very overprotective of me and Abel- something from Jax- the loyal protectiveness for family. They both loved fiercely. Day 1110 of Jax's incarceration- 3 years, 2 weeks, and 1 day, I got a call saying that his case ruling was appealed and that he was getting out on parole tomorrow. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't tell the boys though. I had to make the drive by myself. I needed to be able to be with Jax without them at first. It had been so long. Sunday I had Olivia come watch the boys while I drove to Stockton to get him. I was full of nerve the entire drive. I didn't sleep but 2 hours, and I couldn't eat anything. I had missed him so much. I was so nervous for us to be reunited besides the 30-45 minute visitations over the three years. I was waiting outside the front gate in the car, with all his favorite snacks and drinks for the long drive back home- beef jerky, doritos, gummy bears, pink lemonade, and tea. The 30 pack of Miller Lite would be in the trunk for when we got home. I was on the phone with Olivia checking in on the boys, not paying attention. When I looked up, Jax was standing in front of the car. Buzzed head, more tattoos, more muscular, and in the outfit he had gone in wearing. I immediately hung up on Olivia, jumped out of the car, and was engulfed in a huge hug from him as I cried into his chest. He pulled us apart, wiped my tears, and gave me a huge kiss. He still felt the same... tasted the same... smelt the same. I was so happy.

"_God I missed you so much... No more time Jackson, please..."_

"_Never again... I missed you too. Every night and day. You and our boys are my world. You guys kept me alive."_

"_We could say the same for you."_

"_Come on, let's get on the road, I don't want to be here any longer than needed."_

"_Right, let's go."_

I started driving us home. One of his hands held on of mine while his other was wrist deep in the bag of beef jerky. He would tell me the funny stories he had with his different cell mates and other things he witnessed or saw. I'd fill him in on the funny things Thomas and Abel would do. We avoided any heavy talk for now. We just needed to be happy for the time being. We were finally going to be a safe and happy family.

"_There is a little mechanic shop down the road about 5 miles from our house. They're in desperate need for mechanics. I told them about your partial ownership to T.M, and how you know a lot about it. They're eager to have you. You'd be an asset to the business. They know our story. They don't mind your record, they want you to start when you're ready though. The owner's wife is a sweet girl. About our age. They have a 4 year old named Isabella. Abel has had a few play dates with her. They're all good people, I think you'll like it."_

"_That's great babe, thank you."_

"_I took the next two weeks off so we can be together. The boys have school, but after school and weekends we can be doing things. We can adjust back to being a complete family. I don't want you rushing back to work either. It's been a while since you've seen the outside world, you have personal adapting too."_

"_I'll be fine."_

"_Just go back to work when I do. It'll be a good time."_

"_You got it boss."_

"_Abel has baseball practices Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6-7:15, games on Saturdays at 5. He's looking forward to you seeing him play."_

"_I am too. I'm going to be a good father to them. They deserve it. I want to be there for everything."_

"_No doubt about it baby. Now, there is the nanny I hired, her name is Olivia. She gets the boys from school and watches them Saturday mornings. The mechanic shop is closed Sundays which is also my set day off, so Sundays will always be a family day. The boys really like Olivia, she's been a huge help."_

"_That's good Tara, I can't wait to meet her."_

"_I haven't even told the boys you're getting out. They just think I got called into work. They'll be so happy when you walk through the door."_

He smiled at the thought.

"_It's gonna be great to get to actually be with them again. To actually see Thomas outside of prison."_

"_Thomas is definitely a Daddy's boy. He loves you so so so much. He talks about you constantly. Abel's a Momma's boy though. It's pretty cute."_

We drove the rest of the way catching each other up on the past 3 years apart. We made it home just as Olivia had the boys sitting down at the table to eat. We peeked on them through the window. I walked in with Jax, and at first Abel only saw me.

"_Hey momma."_

I grinned.

"_Hey baby boy."_

Thomas saw Jax first and shrieked so loud, jumping off his chair, and he ran over to Jax and actually started crying- he was that happy. Abel ran over too, and Jax lifted both of them up for a huge hug. It made me cry seeing how happy they were. Even Jax teared up. Our family was finally back together.

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**~Brand new story. Please review, tell me your thoughts and I'll update soon!~**


	2. Chapter 2

**TARA POV**

As much as I just wanted to relax around the house with Jax while our boys were at school, I had things for Jax and I to do that was just needed. A will set in place in case anything where to happen.

"_So, the house and all our bank account are split in half for each son. $15,000 for each boy to help pay for college. If anything happens to the two of us before they are at least 18, who gets custody of them?"_

"_Opie and Lyla."_

"_Tara, no." _

I could tell he was hesitant. Opie was still a member.

"_Jax, I know you're mad at everyone. It isn't Opie's fault. Baby, you two have been best friends since you guys were born, don't hold a grudge against him."_

"_I just spent three years in prison."_

"_You know what though? Opie helped me out so much while you were gone. He helped with the move here too. Unpacking everything, and Lyla would watch the boys when needed. Don't turn on the closest person you have to a brother."_

"_I said no."_

"_Well then who? Your junkie ex? We have no one else."_

"_Wendy can go to hell for all I care. What about Unser?"_

"_He's dying of cancer. He can't take care of our sons, even if he survives that long. It needs to be Opie and Lyla."_

He thought about it for a second.

"_Fine."_

"_If I die before you Jax, with the boys still young, I want you to remarry."_

"_Absolutely not."_

"_The boys will need a mother figure. Don't marry some skank though. Maybe a girl with a college degree. Kids of her own so you know she's capable of mothering."_

"_Tara, no one is dying any time soon. I'm married to you, and it will stay that way."_

"_Come on Jax... I'd want you to be happy... If you were to die first, you'd never want me to remarry? Just be a widow forever?"_

"_It's different with you."_

"_Hypocrite, no it's not. I'd want you to continue living."_

"_You know, I wanted you to keep living when I was locked up. It was maybe two or three months after we married. Opie came for visitation and I told him to get with Lowen about divorce papers. I wanted to detach myself from you and the boys so you could start fresh. A new house, new town, new job, new man, hell even a new family."_

Just the thought of that nauseated me. Tears were stinging my eyes.

"_No Jax..."_

"_Opie told me how hard of a time you were having with me being gone. How us marrying got you a little better and that if I were to go through with the divorce that I'd be a coward. That I'd be abandoning you and our sons. That's the last thing I was trying to do. I just wanted you three happy."_

"_Jackson... I want to be with you... You and our boys..."_

He hugged me into his chest.

"_That's why I didn't go through with it. You waited three whole years for me to get out when you never had to. My crazy mom tried killing you, that didn't even scare you away. We're soul mates, we were made to be together. That's why our love... our bond has remained so strong."_

I blinked away the tears and sat up.

"_I don't want to talk about this anymore. I promised you when I had Thomas that I was going to be around, to mother our sons, to be your old lady forever. I don't break promises."_

"_I know you don't. I'm so lucky to have you. Abel is, and so is Thomas. You're the rock of our family. I'll always feel like a failure after all that time I spent just sitting in prison while you were raising our kids. I missed out on all the firsts... Whenever you're ready, I want a third kid with you."_

That last sentence had me kind of breathless.

"_That can't happen."_

"_It needs to Tara. I need to be there from the beginning for at least one kid. All of Abel's life I was in and out of jail and prison. All of Thomas' life I was in prison. I'll always hate myself for that, always always always. I want to have another baby with you. Thomas turned out so beautiful. I want to do things right with at least one kid."_

"_That thought scares me. I was doing everything all by myself while being pregnant with Thomas. I'd never want to experience the pain and emptiness I had like that ever again."_

"_And you won't, I was serious when I told you no more time. I won't ever get locked up again. I'm getting that mechanic job, you have your job, I'll be around for all of Abel and Thomas' activities, and if you just give me one more baby... I'll prove to you it's all been worth it."_

The thoughts were dizzying me. Jax has never insisted on anything related to our family, I was shocked.

"_Not right away, but okay. When we're both in a good place, and our family is adjusted back together, we can try. But don't push for it any more. I'll give you what you want when the time is right."_

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**~Okay, I know this chapter had no real direction but I think it'd definitely be a necessary conversation they'd have. Please leave a review and tell me what you think! I'd also like to say thank you to all that has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. It means so much to me.~**


	3. Chapter 3

**TARA POV **

Jax brought the boys up to the hospital with him on Saturday to have lunch with me while I was on break. Even though it was a short day, he still wanted the boys to see Mommy before I got home. We all sat in the cafeteria eating chicken sandwiches and macaroni & cheese. Jax was watching my every move.

_"Listen babe, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what we talked about. It's all that's been on my mind the past couple of days and..."_  
_"Jackson I told you don't bring it up again, and I meant that."_  
_"Well I don't know if your body could handle the stress of a baby at your age much longer."_  
That comment pissed me off. It's not like we were 45 or something.  
_"What the hell Jax. We're only 34. That's not old to have a baby. I have another 6-10 years of possible healthy pregnancies."_  
_"Yeah, but Tara it gets risky."_  
_"It'll all be fine. I know all about older pregnancies and we have a while until one would even count as that."_  
_"Look I'll have another kid with you, I will. I just don't want to be over 50 before "our" life can finally start."_  
_Jax was so selfish. Our life? That began when I signed on to Abel's case before Jax and I even got back together, way back when I saved Abel's life. _  
_"The boys are our life, Jax. We live FOR them. It's what parents do. Having a third kid won't change that, no matter when we have it."_  
_"Well I'm not trying to be old enough to be the kid's grandpa when we have it."_  
_"Stop being so dramatic and stop trying to force me into another kid. I'm the one that has to bear it for 9 months. Just be patient."_  
_"Do you even love me Tara?"_

I was so annoyed he wanted to have this conversation in front of the boys. I looked at Abel and Thomas who were both cautiously watching us.

_"Abel, take your little brother to the play area. Mommy will be over there in a second." _

I watched them walk away then I glared at Jax.

_"What the hell does that mean Jax?"_  
_"You don't love me. If you did you wouldn't reject anything I try to do with you. You only give quick kisses here and there, and you're all but refusing to have my kid." _  
_"This is coming from the man who was trying to divorce me only a couple months after being married. Jax, if I didn't love you, I would've taken the boys and moved far away. I wouldn't have spent every Sunday for the passed three years driving three hours just to spend 30-45 minutes with you. Don't be so selfish. If sex is the only thing you want in our marriage, I suggest you find a skank like Ima to be with."_  
_"It's not sex being the only thing I want. I want us to love each other, to be affectionate... I want to have a third kid so I can always be there for it."_  
_"You've only been out of prison a month. You still need to get used to working again... And get used to being a daddy to the two boys we have already. And being a husband who can respect his wife's wishes. I am not refusing to have another kid. I want one, but now is just not the time. I may be ready tomorrow, or a week from now, maybe even a month, but you need to just relax about it. Quit trying to cram it down my throat."_

He sat there for a second, chewing the inside of his lip. I knew he was trying to think on it.

_"Okay. I'll be quiet about it. Just know I'm ready whenever you are."_  
_I looked down at my watch, it was time for me to finish up my rounds so I could get home. _  
_"Got it, you're ready. I have just a little more to do, then I'll be done for the day. Take the boys to the park or something, okay? I'll see you in a couple of hours. I love you."_

I stood up and gave him a hug and kiss then hugged & kissed the boys goodbye before sending them back over to Jax.

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**~I know this is pretty short, I'm sorry. Next chapter will be a bit happier. Please leave a review and I'll update later today!~**


	4. Chapter 4

**TARA POV**

Monday around 10 a.m, I got a call from Thomas' teacher saying that he needed to be picked up from school after kicking and biting another little boy. I called Jax at work and we both left work to get him. We met in the parking lot.

"_Tara, what are you going to tell him?"_

"_**I **__am not telling him anything. __**YOU**__ get to be bad cop. You get to talk to him and discipline him. I've done it since he was born, it's time for Daddy to grow a back bone."_

"_Tara, I just got out of prison..."_

"_That's no excuse. You're still a father."_

"_Fine."_

We got Thomas out and Jax talked to him while loading him into the car.

"_Thomas you can't hurt other people. It's not nice."_

"_Dadda him take my toy."_

"_Well then you ask for it back, don't use violence to get your way."_

I couldn't help but start to laugh. I never thought I'd hear those words come out of his mouth.

He turned around and looked at me annoyed. I blushed, stifling my giggles.

"_Sorry baby, it's just too funny."_

He rolled his eyes and turned back to Thomas.

"_When we get home, you have to give Daddy your trucks. You won't get them back until tomorrow."_

As soon as Thomas heard that he started sobbing, Jax just shut the door.

"_Happy now Tara? He hates me now... That was so hard."_

"_Hardest part is not giving in when he pleads to get them back. You can do it though. Stay strong, I'll see you around dinner time. Make sure Abel does his homework please."_

I gave him a hug and a kiss and then I was on my way back to work.

**JAX POV**

Tara was having a ball setting her rules and things with me being around again but I just had to shut up and do as she said so that eventually she'd give me another baby. I had to work hard to impress her. By the time she got home from work, I already had both boys bathed and in pajamas, sitting at the table ready for dinner, homework done and everything. I even attempted my hand in cooking by making dinner. Just some simple pasta, but usually Tara was the one that cooked so she would appreciate it. She walked in and saw us all sitting there, and she smiled so big.

"_Look at my boys, all three of them cleaned and everything. And either Olivia cooked or you actually attempted to."_

"_I figured I'd give you a break since you were at work all day."_

"_Well thanks baby."_

Abel smiled at me then at Tara.

"_Momma, tomorrow is the Mommy-Daddy lunch at school. Will you come?"_

She walked over to him and bent down to his level, giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek. I was so glad they were as close as they were.

"_Of course baby, I wouldn't miss it for the world."_

"_Daddy says Tommy doesn't have to be there. Uncle Opie and Aunt Lyla are going to be here, they're going to watch him."_

Tara got confused and looked at me.

"_They're coming?"_

"_Well I thought on what you said. Opie wasn't responsible for what happened to me. I still need my best friend. Plus Lowen needs both of them to be here for us to finalize and sign the will since they'll be the kids' guardians if something happens to us."_

"_Oh... Well good. I'm proud of you Jax."_

If all of this wasn't enough to get her to finally make that third baby, nothing would be.

"_They're gonna stay in our spare room if that's okay. Then they leave Sunday. I already told Olivia, she's glad to have the week off."_

"_That's fine with me, and good, she deserves it. She's been with me since we moved here. About two, almost two and a half years."_

"_Momma, I got an A on my spelling quiz. And I got an A on my math quiz."_

She smiled at Abel, a big beaming smile full of pride.

"_That's so good honey, Momma is so proud of you." _

"_Yeah babe, he's doing so good. The principal sent home a letter in his folder. It's a request form for Abel to be in an advanced class next year."_

"_I think that will be very good. Between baseball and school, he's excelling in it all."_

Thomas was still pouting about being in trouble. Tara walked over to his high chair, kissing the top of his head.

"_Now if only Thomas can learn to be a sweet boy to his classmates and obey his teacher, he'll be like his big brother. Then if you are a sweet boy, when you are old enough, Mommy will sign you up for baseball, how does that sound baby?"_

Thomas smiled his bright smile- Tara's smile.

"_Otay momma, I be good boy. I pomise."_

We all ate dinner, which Tara actually really loved, then tucked the boys in for bed. Tara was standing in front of our dresser, changing out of her scrubs into one of my shirts and some sleep short. I was already in just my boxers, watching TV in bed.

"_Jackson, you did a good job today. I'm proud of you."_

"_Well thanks babe. I was just trying to get everyone happy."_

"_You did. I love you Jax."_

I smiled to myself. That's the first time she has said it first without us being in some deep conversation since I had been out of prison.

"_I love you too Tara."_

"_I guess I'm ready."_

"_What?"_

"_I'm ready... For that third baby. You proved yourself well today. I just hope you can keep that up."_

"_I will."_

I was so excited. It was all paying off. She made her way over to her side of the bed and got in. I knelt and hovered over her, connecting lips as we finally... FINALLY made love.

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**~Reviews please. Something about me writing in Jax's point of view about Tara gets me giddy, I don't know why. If you all liked this chapter, I'll try for another chapter or two tomorrow!~**


	5. Chapter 5

**JAX POV**

_"No Jax! If you hadn't spent the past 3 years in prison ass-raping other inmates, maybe you would be capable of having another child!"_  
_"How do you know it's not your fault? I told you if we waited much longer, your age would make it nearly impossible to get pregnant! And to be clear, there was nothing going on with any inmates of any type... I'm not that kind of man Tara, you should know that."_  
These fights had become an almost daily event over the past 4 months we had been trying for a baby. It wasn't just about us learning to be affectionate together again, it was more out of desperation now. We'd go back and forth playing the blame game of why we couldn't make a baby. Tara was battling in and out of depression and I knew she was snapping herself out of it for Abel and Thomas's sake. I had never felt further apart from her. We had taken some tests, both of us, to see if there was something actually wrong with reproducing. The week wait we had for the result to come in was the worst. I had never seen her so bent out of shape about something. We'd get into really nasty yelling matches, to the point where Abel had woken up one night and peeked down the hall right as Tara had smacked me across the face for saying she wasn't wanting the third baby. The next afternoon Tara got a call from Abel's teacher asking if everything was alright at home because "Mommy cries all the time"... Abel had told his teacher that we would fight all the time and mommy would cry a lot. That night at the silent dinner table, Tara wouldn't make eye contact with anyone. She finally looked up at Abel.  
_"Honey, you can't discuss at school with your friends or teachers what happen at home. They don't really understand."_  
_"Mommy, you're so sad all day. You and daddy don't love each other. You two yell and you cry all the time."_  
She clenched her teeth together for a second, her face getting a little pink.  
_"Mommy and Daddy do love each other, a lot. There is just something grown up that we have been arguing on. But that doesn't mean we don't love each other, because we do. Once it's fixed, everything will be better. But I don't want you telling anyone at school about anything that happens at home."_  
Abel looked down at his plate and sighed.  
_"Okay..."_  
I hated that. He shouldn't have to keep anything from anyone.  
_"Tara, that's not right to put on him. Teachers of all people should be someone he can trust."_  
Tara looked at me, then at plate, sitting there in silence for a second. She glanced up at me again.  
_"I don't know what's happening to me anymore." _

She got up and walked down the hall to our room, shutting and locking the door behind her. I finished up with dinner and getting the boys bathed and in bed. I was doing the dishes when I heard the door unlock. She went into each of the boys' room to kiss them goodnight, then I heard her go back and shut the door again, but thankfully not locking it again. I went in there after straightening up the rest of the house. She was curled up on her side of the bed. I could tell she had been crying. She had a tear stained and blotchy face from crying. I got down to just my boxers and laid on my side, gently rubbing her back.  
_"Tara, we'll be okay... We'll figure it out, I promise we will."_  
_"I got the test results back at work today..."_ She rolled onto her back, so I rolled onto my side to face her.  
_"And what did they say?"_  
She got up and pulled some papers and a little brown bag out of her purse.  
_"I'm completely fertile and at a very healthy age for babies. Like I said, 34 isn't old."_  
_"So then it's me..."_  
_"Well yes. Your sperm count is low. They prescribed you some supplements to get everything back in full function. You have to give it a week or so for it to really be effective. We'll try then, and hope for the best."_  
_"Well then why were you crying?"_  
_"Because I'm making poor decisions as a mom... I've been such a bitch to you about this all... You wanted a third baby so bad and now we have to get you on the supplements and just hope it can work."_  
_"Babe if it doesn't then we can looking getting a sperm donor."_  
_"Jackson, absolutely not. Biologically the baby wouldn't be yours. I know hand how frustrating it is to parent a child that the only thing keeping him from being yours is blood. Abel's always been mine Jax. He's been our baby boy. But he'll always be more of your son because of genetics, and that's how it would be for you if we got a sperm donor. I'd hate that for you. Especially because we have Thomas. We have proof we can make babies together."_  
_"Abel is your son as much as he's mine. You adopted him, we got his birth certificate changed. You two even have the same blood type. He is your son Tara."_  
_"I guess... What about a surrogate? It may work better for us that way."_  
_"No way in hell... No test tube babies. We'll try our best with the supplements. If that can't work, then it's just a sign things aren't meant to be. It'll make Abel and Thomas that much more special to us."_  
_"You're right."_  
_"I love you Tara. Babe, I really do. I always have. I'm sorry for blaming you. It's always been my fault."_  
_"No. I wasn't being fair to you. I love you too Jax. We'll make it work."_  
I set the papers and bottle of pills on my nightstand then pulled her in for a kiss, and held her in my arms as we drifted to sleep together.

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**~Please R & R~**


	6. Chapter 6

**TARA POV**

It had been 3 months since Jax had gotten on the supplements. I was guessing they worked right away because I hadn't gotten my period since then. I didn't want to tell Jax until I was far enough along. When we were 17, I had gotten pregnant and miscarried 10 weeks in. Jax was so ready to be a father right then and there when I was just trying to graduate. Having that second chance on being able to get what I wanted in life- a college degree so I could be a healer, it motivated me to want to get out of Charming even more. Jax and I really never talked about it. Don't get me wrong, Thomas turned out beautiful, I know our first baby would have. We just both felt really different about it. If that baby were to have made it, it would be 14 years old, but instead we each went our own ways and once getting back together have a 6 year old, 3 year old, and a baby on the way. Anyways, I was trying to make it to twelve weeks because if the baby makes it that long, then it's usually certain it can survive. Thomas's situation was different. Before Abel was kidnapped and I knew I was pregnant, from the first baby experience, I was planning on waiting until 12 weeks along to tell Jax. Once Abel was gone and Jax blamed me for it- even hated me, he just couldn't say it, I just wanted to get an abortion. If we weren't going to be together and we lost Abel, there was no family for me. I would've had no support. Then Gemma ruined it for me by telling him in Belfast, and he was all for being together after rescuing me, so I had to have him, which I was so glad I did. He was such a smart and sweet little boy. After 2 weeks of morning sickness and my sudden weight gain in my stomach, he figured it out before I told him. He was over the moon happy about it, and so was I. To finally be pregnant after all the trouble we gone through was the greatest thing. We went in for the ultrasound together. I was 3 months pregnant with two healthy babies which shocked the hell out of both of us. The ultrasound tech handed us the pictures of the babies and walked out shortly after. I laid there, watching Jax's reaction. He was stunned.

_"Wow..."_  
_"Two babies, can you believe it?"_  
_"To think we were struggling for one, now we get two."_  
_"Jax, this is good, right?"_

I couldn't tell if he was happy or mad or something else.

_"Of course it is. Maybe they'll both be girls. Then we'll have 2 boys and 2 girls. It'd be perfect."_

I sat up and fixed my shirt. I already had a small baby bump, but that was because I had two babies growing in there. Jax stood up and helped me off the little bed, then gave me a hug and kiss.

_"It finally worked."_  
_"Better than I had imagined. They're gonna be beautiful Tara."_

I rubbed my stomach, glad to know they were healthy.

_"I'll work up to 6 months. After that my bump will be too big to do surgeries so I'll have minimum days 3 days a week."_  
_"That's good baby. I don't want you overworking. Stress isn't good for you and the babies."_  
_"I know you said you think it'll be two girls, but if one of them is a boy, I want him to be Jackson jr."_  
_"Gross. You don't want our boy being named after me."_  
_"Of course I do. You have a nice strong name. You're gonna be his daddy so it works out."_  
_"What about if it's a girl?"_  
_"I don't know. Any babies I ever envisioned have been boys. That just seems to be our life. I mean we have Abel and Thomas already, it makes sense to be used to boys."_  
_"Well I like your middle name. It's beautiful. I'll let you have a Jackson Jr if I can have a Grace."_  
_"My middle name is Grace, her middle name can be Grace?" _  
_"Fair enough. What can her first name be?"_  
_"I picked the boy name, you pick girl."_

He pondered on that for a bit while we started to walk to the car.

_"Alexis Grace."_  
_"I like that."_  
_"If it's two boys we can name the second one after Ope... Another girl, I think Aurora May."_  
_"That's fine. Now it's the preparation. It's gonna be a lot of hard work with taking care of 4 kids. You need to talk to your boss ahead of time about getting time off around the time the babies are born. I'm going to need your help." _  
_We made it to my car and I got into the passenger seat, letting him drive to the school to pick Thomas up. _  
_"I'll be there babe. No doubt about it. I promise I will."_  
_"Good. I know you'll be there."_  
_"Tara... I need to start a new charter. Redding California will be good. No illegal shit. But I just feel vulnerable with no help. Opie can be my VP. Uncle Jury may come. Chibs. Piney. Kozik. We'll search for prospects in the area. Especially with the babies coming, we're going to need help and protection."_  
_"I thought you hated them all? I mean I'm not opposed to it as long as you're still doing your part as a father... You just need to think about what you're getting yourself into."_  
_"I know what I'm getting into. I'll be fine. It was the warden's fault I stayed in the full sentence, not theirs. I was just jealous they got out early and I didn't."_  
_"I trust you Jackson. If you think this will be good for everyone involved, then I'll support you 110% behind it."_  
_"Thank you Tara."_

_To be honest, the thought of the club life resurfacing after all this time without it made me a nervous wreck but I had to shut my mouth and be a supportive wife. I had to be the strong & independent old lady Jax expected out of me. _

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**~Leave a review and I'll update soon!~**


	7. Chapter 7

**TARA POV**

Jax had spent the next month or so getting the Redding charter set up. Piney, Opie, Chibs, and Kozik moved to Redding, and Jax found three new people to prospect: Bryan, Felix, and One- foot... One foot was an Iraqi war amputee. Jax wasn't home too much, so I'd see him at random times. Sometimes he'd be home for dinner, other times he wouldn't get until 2 or 3 in the morning. He was so stressed all the time. One night, he came home around 10. I already had the boys bathed and in bed. I sat at the table with Jax while he ate his dinner. He was being particularly quiet, which was odd.  
_"Jax, what's wrong?"_  
He sat there for a second, simmering in whatever angry thoughts he had.  
_"You know, that big secret you had with Lyla... She confessed her half to Opie, and told him about yours."__  
__"What are you talking about?"__  
__"Lyla when she got an abortion while we were in Belfast. You drove her, and made an appointment for yourself."__  
__"Jax, that's a complicated situation."__  
__"How complicated is it? You were planning to abort my son without even telling me."__  
__"At the time it was just a fetus. He wasn't a baby..."__  
__"WASN'T A BABY?! Walk into Thomas's room and tell me what he is if he's not a baby!"_  
I was trying to hold back the tears; pregnancy hormones were making me sensitive.  
_"Lower your voice, you'll wake the boys up."__  
__"Now you're worried about them?!"__  
__"They're my sons! Jax, I don't think you realized what hell you put me through!"__  
__"Do you realize what I was going through?! I lost my son, Tara! I had to get him back, no matter what it took!"__  
__"You aren't some saint either. Gemma told me how you were going to let him stay with that Irish couple that adopted him."__  
__"That's still my son! While I was out trying to rescue him, you were planning to kill his little brother!"__  
__"Be quiet, that's the last time I'm warning you. And Abel was my son too. I was grieving him being gone. Yes I was going to get an abortion. You disowned me. You said I wasn't yours and Abel's family. You and our boys are the only real family I have, so imagine how that felt to me. I was trying my best to stay close to you. I wanted to go with you guys but you were just so angry. You pushed for me to leave. You slept with that damn porn slut. I didn't want to have a baby that would be fatherless... One that would never know his big brother... I didn't want my child growing up in Charming around "the life", so yes, I wanted to get an abortion. I was going to go back to Chicago. If I didn't have you and Abel, there was no point. Then I got kidnapped by Salazar, and put through all that abuse. He kicked me in the stomach when I tried to get away. It wasn't a hard kick, but it hurt more than it should have, and I know it's because I was pregnant. That pain I had, knowing right then I could've lost him, I had to fight for him. Even if I wasn't going to be with you.. Wasn't going to be Abel's mom, he'd have me, and I'd have him. At the time that was all I needed because you hated me. You blamed me for everything that happened. Believe me, if I wasn't pregnant, I would've gave my life to protect Abel. I just didn't want you to have a dead baby... I knew you'd get Abel back."_  
By the time I was done saying all of that, tears had streamed down my face and Jax just sat there looking down at his hands. I wiped the tears away quickly.  
_"Tara, I-"_  
Thomas had walked down the hallway.  
_"No. You said what you needed. I don't want an apology or anything."_  
I signaled for Thomas to come to me.  
_"Momma I wake up."__  
__"I know honey. Sorry me and daddy woke you up."__  
__"It ohtay."__  
__"Come on. We'll go lay on the couch, maybe watch cartoons for you to fall asleep. Mommy will sleep with you on the couch tonight."__  
__"Oooh good!"_  
I carried him over there, despite my rather large baby bump. He clung tightly to me.  
_"Be careful of Mommy's babies inside her tummy, okay?"__  
__"Sowwy."_  
We got adjusted on the couch and he fell asleep across my chest and baby bump. Jax came over and laid on the other couch.  
_"I know you said you don't want an apology, but I am sorry."__  
__"Save it..."__  
__"I shouldn't have flipped out like that."__  
__"I don't want to hear it."__  
__"Tara... I don't want you mad."__  
__"I'm not mad. I'm fine. You're fine, we're fine. We were both wrong, but that was over 2 years ago. No sense in getting all caught up in it now."__  
_He just sighed and rolled over, covering himself with a blanket.

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**~A bit dramatic, but oh well. Reviews please!~**


	8. Chapter 8

**Tara POV**

I woke up the next morning with Thomas still on me, both of us drenched in sweat. I laid Thomas in the playpen, and got up to check the thermostat. It said 68 degrees with the fan on, but nothing was coming from the vents. This was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I went over to Jax who was still covered head to toe with the blanket from last night, then I shook him awake.

"Get up, the A/C is broken."  
"Good morning to you too darlin'."

I sighed heavily, hot and annoyed. The babies were flipping and flopping in my stomach.

"Morning Jax. Can you find someone to come out and fix it before we all melt?"  
"Babe I can do it. I'll have Opie come over and help."  
"I'd like it to be fixed the right way, not just rigged to work."  
"I know how to fix a damn A/C, it's not rocket science."  
"You and Ope never stay sober together."  
"I won't drink until after it's fixed. I promise you."  
"Okay then. Hurry up though. The babies aren't liking this."

He sat up and rubbed my stomach, kissing it, then he rested his head on it.

"Our little babies."  
"I have the appointment this afternoon to figure out the genders. I'll record it on my phone for you to see."  
"Babe, I want to be there. Besides the initial ultrasounds with Thomas and then with the twins, I never got the chance. Wendy would never tell me when the appointments were, she'd only send the bills, and I was locked up for your pregnancy with Thomas. I don't want to miss a single thing this time."

That actually meant the world to me. Jax was trying so hard for these babies.

"Okay honey, that's fine, do you think the A/C will be fixed before we leave?"  
"I'll call Chibs too. Him and Opie can do it. We can drop the boys off on the way with Lyla and their kids so the boys aren't in the heat all miserable."  
"Good idea. I'm going to get the boys up and fed then get in the shower with them so we can cool off and everything. Go get the replacement parts you need then it'll be time to go."

Jax got what we needed and he got Opie and Chibs each a 24 pack of beer in exchange for their labor. We dropped the boys off with Lyla then went to our appointment where we figured out we were going to have one boy, and one girl.

"This is good Jax. You'll finally get a daddy's girl."  
"That means we'll have a Jackson Junior."  
"Definitely. That and an Alexis Grace."

I cringed at the thought of our daughter having my middle name. I personally hated my name.

"Are you sure you want her middle name to be Grace? It's so ugly."  
"It's not ugly babe. Your name is beautiful. She's going to be strong, beautiful and graceful like you."

Quite the flatterer.

"Well thanks baby."  
"Hey, I only speak the truth."  
Later on that night, we were tucking the boys in. Thomas had already gone down, so Jax and I were in Abel's room, chatting with him.  
"Momma, I found a picture of Daddy and his sister today."

There were no pictures in Jax's bag from Belfast, so Jax and I were both confused.

"What picture honey? Daddy doesn't have a sister."  
"I left it on yours and Daddy's dresser."

I went in there just to find a picture of Jax and Wendy from their dating days. I always knew this day would come. I'd have to explain to Abel that I wasn't his real mom. I carried it in and as soon as Jax saw it, he was pale. I knew I had to explain it so I sat back down beside him.

"Honey, that's not daddy's sister. That's your real mother."  
You could tell instantly Abel's little heart was crushed. Even being six years old, he knew so much more. He could understand things better than most adults.  
"Momma, you're my mommy."  
"Well yes. But it's kind of complicated. Before mommy and daddy got back together after being apart for 11 years, Daddy had married a girl named Wendy. She was a crazy lady, so daddy didn't want to be married to her anymore. She tricked Daddy into having a baby so that Daddy would still be with her, but it didn't work, he still wanted to get away from her. She was doing very very bad things while you were in her tummy. She had an accident and Gramma found her."  
"Was she in trouble?"  
"Well yes. The doctors had to get you out of her tummy a while before you were ready. You and her were both very sick from her bad things."

Jax was looking at me with a shocked face. Abel just had to know the truth.

"I was sick? But I was just a baby."  
"I know. I had just started back in Charming as a surgeon. You were my first baby I fixed in California. The scar on your belly, that's because of Wendy. The one on your heart is just a family flaw."  
"I don't want her to be my mommy. You're my momma. I just want you."

Jax finally spoke up.

"Wendy was a crazy lady. She had you in her tummy, but Tara is your real mommy. All those bad things were making Wendy crazy, so she gave up everything attached to you. Mommy adopted you. Got everything on your birth certificate changed. Mommy saved your life. That's your momma, not Wendy."

Abel looked relieved but he still had a few more questions.

"Are your babies going to have to be out early?"

I laughed a little to lighten up things.

"Mommy's been very healthy. They'll be just as healthy when they come out. But no, they shouldn't come out early."  
"Why did Wendy give up on me?"  
"Well baby, she was too crazy to ever be your mom. Daddy wanted me to help him with you when you were first born. When I first saw you, and saw how much you looked like daddy, I fell in love. You've been my baby ever since then. It was just official when she gave up the rights and I adopted you."  
"Oh boy... Alright momma, I'm tired."  
"Alright sweet boy, sleep well, we have Thomas's party tomorrow. We'll have so much fun. I love you so, so, so much."  
"I love you too mommy. Good night."

I kissed his forehead then walked out for Jax to tell him good night. I was laying on the couch by the time he came out. He lifted my legs up and sat beneath them, resting them back across his lap. I could feel he was still shocked.

"Jax, he had to find out."  
"Smaller doses babe. That was a lot to put on him."  
"He asked, I answered and explained. He's very smart, he can handle it."  
"I don't want him wondering about that. You and you only are his mom, it's always been that way."  
"I know baby. He'd figure it out someday. Someone would say something... Or maybe he could tell by us not having the same features."  
"He has your personality. He's a Momma's boy. There is no denying he isn't yours."  
"I know but he asked about the picture so I told him. It's no big deal. At least he knows now and we aren't fighting with him about it when he is a teen."

He bent over and rested his head on my baby bump, rubbing circles on it with one hand.

"I love you Tara. You, our boys, and these two little ones. Our little JJ and Lexi."  
"I love you too baby."

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**~Reviews please!~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Tara POV**

A year and 4 months had passed. Abel was 7, Thomas 4, and the twins had just turned 1. We were having a party for them at Lyla and Opie's new house since there was a pool, and it was in the middle of July. I was very emotional that morning while we were getting ready. Our babies were already 1 year old, and Jax had gotten a vasectomy, so there would be no babies, which was bittersweetly okay with me. Our four kids were so perfect, I just loved how Jax was so loving and caring while I was pregnant. He would always hug and kiss on my bump, and help out with our boys. Lexi Grace (just a habit we formed to call her that) was Jax's entire world. Sure he loved me and our three boys, but there was a special kind of love between Daddy and his little princess. JJ had turned out to be another mini-Jax, like Abel. Thomas was the perfect combination of us, but Lexi Grace looked just like me. Our only brown haired baby with the softest green eyes. Abel and JJ were Momma's boys, but Thomas was a Daddy's boy like Lexi Grace was Daddy's little girl. Anyways, I couldn't find my swimsuit, which I needed to help Jax with Thomas and the twins in the pool. It was just a simple red and black one piece which made me happy. It would cover up my stomach. I hated my body. After I was brought to tears, Jax told me to not worry about it and that he would call Lyla to go out and pick me up one, and to just change at their house. We left and went to get all of the food and drinks at the grocery store, then it was party time. All of the Redding chapter was there, plus some of Charming. Of course not Clay though. We got all the kids doused in sunscreen, then Thomas got his arm floaties on, and we got the twins' floats for them to ride around in. Chibs and Rat boy were in the water with the twins, pulling them in the floats while Opie and Lyla's three kids played with Abel and Thomas. Jax and I were inside while Lyla came and handed me the bag that had my swimsuit. I pulled it out, or at least part of it. It was some leopard print bikini top with a red lace trim on them.

"Lyla... No, I'm not wearing this, what the hell."  
"Oh come on Tara."

Jax just had this smirk on his face.

"Come on babe, wear it for me."  
"No. That'll barely cover anything of mine."

That was the truth. The last 3 weeks of my pregnancy with the twins, my boobs and butt grew so much, and they never shrunk back, even when I lost the forty pounds of baby weight I got. Lyla and Jax were both smirking.

"Tara sweetie, it's perfectly fine. It'll fit you like a glove."  
"Lyla, I'm not wearing that. I just don't have to swim."  
"Boring... I'm going outside to Ope, get the suit on, you won't regret it."

Lyla walked out and I stood there with Jax.

"I'm just not ready to wear something like this. I just had twins, my body is terrible."  
"Babe, you had twins a year ago, you've lost 55 pounds, when you only gained 40. Your body is so perfectly gorgeous... I'd really appreciate it if you could put this on."  
"No... I don't want anyone seeing me like that."  
"If not for me, for the twins. Are you really gonna miss out on their birthday fun?"  
"I will just wait for when they get out of the water..."  
"Tara... Get the swimsuit on. I'll give you my shirt to put on over it for now."  
"Fine. But I'm not going to take it off."

I went into the bathroom with Jax following. He said he had to pee, but I think it was just a lame excuse to see me naked. I striped down and got the bottoms on that barely covered my ass, then I was struggling to get both parts of the bikini tied tight enough.

"You know Tara, it's incredibly hard to pee with a boner."

How cute. I enjoyed his chivalrous ways.

"You better soften up Jax. I'm not doing anything for that thing of yours."  
"Tara, just relax. You being in a cranky mood is going to ruin the day for the kids."  
"Jax, I'm fine. Just help me tie this so it doesn't come flying off in the water."

He sighed, knowing I had won.

"You know, it's not a crime for a husband and wife to show affection."  
"Don't start this Jackson."  
"Well it's bullshit. I'm trying to get you happy, and you just push away. When was the last time we had sex? Fucking before you were six months pregnant. It's literally been a year and half of nothing."  
"Things change when kids are involved."  
"You don't think I know this? You healed from giving birth after a month, and that's when I got my vasectomy, and I was fine after a week, but damn every time I try for just ANYTHING you push me away."  
"Maybe I'm just not in the mood."  
"Whatever. You just used me for kids, because now nothing I do is good enough for you. I'm going back outside to spend time with our children. You should too when you stop acting like a prima donna."

Just like that, he was out of the room with the door slamming behind him. It killed me to think he thinks I used him for kids... That wasn't true at all. I sat down on the edge of the tub and just started to cry. He was so mad now.

**JAX POV**

I went out and told Rat boy to get away from Lexi Grace. Everyone was watching me, they could tell something had happened. I saw Lyla get up and go back inside. She'd talk to Tara since Tara never listened to me. Chibs helped me get the twins out of their floats so that I could just hold them in the water. They seemed to like it better. They'd fling their little chubby hands into the water and giggle as the water would come up and splash them. Lyla came out a few minutes later, and walked around to everyone to tell them something, but I wasn't sure what. Shortly after Lyla sat back down, Tara came out wearing the bikini, nothing else- much to my surprise. Abel ran over to her.

"Momma! You look very pretty!"  
"Aww thank you baby boy."

She really did look amazing. No signs of her being pregnant. Her stomach was flat, and she had the greatest curves. I looked at her with a sympathetic expression. I didn't want her to think I was truly mad at her. I just needed her to understand how I was feeling. She walked down the pool steps into the water, and was greeted by Thomas, squealing with excitement that she was in the water. She made her way over to me and the twins, and reached her arms out to hold one of them. JJ reached out for her first so that's who she took. She stood there watching me with Lexi Grace. Her face was blotchy from crying. I hated when she got like that. I pulled her in for a close hug with the babies.

"I love you Tara... I'm sorry for making you upset."  
"It was my fault anyways... I love you Jax, I really do, and I will show you that tonight."  
"Babe, don't worry about that..."  
"I want to Jax."

I wasn't about to keep saying no to something I had so badly been wanting for over a year.

"Okay... Let's get to enjoying our babies' first birthday."  
"Of course."

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**~Reviews please!~**


	10. Chapter 10

~I am sorry but there is nothing left in this story... I just can't seem to be able to write anything for it. Hope you enjoyed what was written and be sure to check out my other SOA stories~


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